Friday, November 19, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: I believe Depression Caused by Weave/Extension Hysteria IS REAL....because I get it every month

Hey Guys, I know it's been a while, I've been super busy but believe me I haven't stopped working. I have many photos and some good material for interesting and entertaining blog topics, I just need to take the time to write them all :) But this just couldnt wait....

So last week I knew I needed to deep condition my hair and get it cut but I couldnt figure out what to do next nor did I even want to begin the process. Friday afternoon, my best friend had asked me if I wanted to go out and I said I can't I have to do my hair, and she replied "ummm so we'll go out saturday night instead"... and I sadly replied, "this will take all weekend- H E L L O??." She, responding, "oh yeah I forgot, you're black" **SIGH**.....

It got me thinking of a depressed state that only comes over me on or around the time I have to do my hair, also occuring when I'm contemplating what to do next with my hair! So anyways, I came up with the word that describes everything I'm feeling regarding this situation, please see below:

DEPWEAVESSION noun-- A condition of general emotional withdrawal and sadness caused by ones weave/extensions not looking up to par. This can also be related to the general over-fatigued feeling caused by all pre present and post weave related issues.
Examples:
1. noun-- Bonqueefalah-Sheray is not going out with her friends this weekend because her depweavession has her sitting at home trying to decide if she should go natural, get braids or cut it all the *uck off.

2. adj-- Weezysbaybeh-Mahma isnt going to Atlantic City with her friends this weekend AND missed her last two car payments because she's saving up to buy the same hair Beyonce uses; needless to say, this has her very depweaved.

On that note, I Hope everyone has a Depweavession Free Thanksgiving
xoxo






Topics to follow after the holidays:
1. Leggings are NOT pants... (no we Do NOT want to see your panty line, pancake booty, cellulite or jello jiggly)
2. How come when white people do something that's considered ghetto in the urban community, its all of a suddenly COOL:Hair Edition
3. Going into foreclosure in head to toe Chanel

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

This is not for me- and its okay!

Its been a while, I'm sorry I haven't been documenting my experiences and thoughts for everyone to read, there's just no excuse for disappointing my fans, I'm truly sorry. Anywho, just the other day, coming off the bus, I saw a white woman with a very "urban" shall we say, hairstyle.
I got to thinking... A. I wonder what color her doorag is..... B. Where did she get it done..... C. Where does she work and have her friends and family said anything about her ummmmmm hair.... When I went home I literally typed in "white women with ghettochic hairstyles" and this is what popped up:



Now the above photo deserves an entry on its own.... like really?!?!?!!?!?!?! Anyways, the woman I saw (damn you Iphone for still not having a flash) looked more like the below, I just couldnt get a good shot because it was too dark:



I'm exhausted y'all (in my Britney Spears half southern TPT accent) so I'll wrap this up, all I'm saying is some styles are just not meant for some people.... Just because Cassie and Rihanna shaved part of their heads doesnt mean you should too.... they are (arguably) drop dead gorgeous and have the face to do so....




vs why oh why?!?






You my friend, may need every strand of hair you've got to help that mug of yours... sometimes you gotta just say "this is not for me- and its okay."
Until next time
Muah xoxox

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Jersey Shore- A Myth or a Reality?

Memorial Day weekend, I found myself roaming the streets of Seaside with non other than Bira (her name has been changed until I receive confirmation that she authorizes me to use her real name). I found myself replaying all the times in the past I had said to non jersey shore residents (especially since the show): "its not really like the way they show it on TV!!!"..... Yet, as I looked to the left, looked to the right.... looked up.... looked down....looked to the side.... and even around the corner....this is really all I saw:



So being the DD, gave my the opportunity to really search high and low to find a normal, well and appropriately dressed, living human being on the seaside boardwalk. Needless to say aside from the puke, shoulder boom boxes, italian sweat bands, puerto rican flag head bands, tricked out cars, fake boobs, orange oompa loompa skin, puke, hair extensions, more Bebe and Juicy Couture than I'd care to remember.... three days later, I'm still searching for this normal well behaved, well dressed individual.. ** sigh ** does this person exist or is it only a myth??

Monday, May 17, 2010

Stalking: What's REALLY going too far?

Have you ever wanted to run into an ex looking extremely hot or even with celebrity status arm candy? What happens if no matter how hard you try you can't stop thinking about the look on his OR her face when this certain individual "bumps" into you....... finally realizing how amazing you are and how he or she messed up such a good f-ing thing.... I know what you're thinking, how about you get a life and just move onnnnn?
Now I'm no psychologist but I think this feeling is most definitely, totally and bitterly normal... It's gotta be in one of my over priced psych books I forgot to sell back after graduation... not that there's any chance I'd actually take the time to look it up, so I'll just trust my instincts on its normalcy in human social behavior.

Sooooo What I want to know is: if you dont have the same social circle aka you will NEVER run into this individual, is it okay to semi stalk the person? Is it okay to give fate a few sturdy taps on the ass and help it along with forcing you two to run into each other....? And what's going to far: I mean personally, I think binoculars are an under used under-appreciated tool. We should all have a pair and all be familiar with how to use them. Think about how it would make J. P. Lemiere feel (he invented them in 1825 although none of this would be possible without Galileo of course).

Furthermore, what about a PI as in Private Investigator... and if you can't hire one, what about a friend?? is that going too far?? **Sigh** I'm digressing, since this has nothing to do with me personally, I will suggest that my friend Sarah* give fate a few more months and then we can re visit the issue... but I'd love to hear your comments non the less.... xoxo
* A fake name has been used to protect this persons identity

Friday, May 14, 2010

My Jersey Nails

I've been in Jersey for 11 days 5 hrs and 2 mins.... without my New York City influence aka all of my good friends telling me to loose the Jersey Nails and stick with a simple manicure... I'm really itching to put these back on:


I've already found a design I like for my wedding day:


Hey NYC, will ya still love me if I come back with these on Monday??
Smooches
xoxox

Thursday, May 13, 2010

If I Shall Die Before I Wake....

So as I'm online window shopping, I started to place a few items in my cart simply because it makes me feel good. I kind of do the whole "what would I purchase If I had all the money in the world." I then thought about a situation 2 weeks ago where I was talking about this new Navy Balenciaga bag that I really wanted and my boss over heard me talking and said "really, you're out of control, you live way beyond your means."... BUT REALLY.... IF I get hit by a car tomorrow crossing the street.... wouldn't it be way better to have the shoes that are peeking out from under the tires of a mourning cab driver be these:
I mean come on, its like why do the responsible save- your -money- every- month- so -you -can- buy- a -condo- and- live the- american- dream when you can blow up from a terrorist bomb on 46th street or get shot for taking money out of the atm on 89th and columbus.... all I'm saying is, live your life and if your gonna go, go fab!

Monday, May 10, 2010

The New Me: Nokie

So I'm close to the end of my 25th year and I've decided to start a blog because although I actually DO like my handwriting, written journals are sooooo 1993, and I type pretty fast so why not? I've been thinking about this for quite some time, a combination of recently going back to therapy (physical and mental) and watching an Ugly Betty episode where she got the courage to start her own blog (a moment of silence for the ending of the show please).
I've hit this new chapter in my life.... a new Nokie. I'm hoping that my thoughts on some of the things that are/were and will be important to me can help others grow learn and laugh... maybe even cry, but I'd prefer the laughing. Everyone has a story... so here is mine.